Surrendering

Surrendering

society told me who i was
they told my story
placing me in a corner
their voice
keeping me down
1 2 3 4
chasing myself
knocking myself out
blocks
failure
screaming for release
meeting a stranger
spun me around he did
surrendering
letting loose
vulnerable
scared
knowing i must move forward
hearing each of his clicks
strength is building
his words
encouraging
giving me freedom
realizing
i was my own jailer
his clicks flipped a switch
now
it begins with a line
I AM
freedom from myself

Drew Frederic

The model for this piece of art is Roy Paz of Israel.  I met Roy online some time ago.  We chatted for over a year about collaborating in a shoot.    Things did not work out on my first trip to Israel.  Wicked bummer and I was a tad disappointed.  But……. a persistent cuss I am.  This land somehow pulls my soul unto itself and releases every ounce of my being.  I knew I was going back and this put both of us at ease.  On my second trip, a different man I was, the same Drew, but different.  Make sense?  I contacted Roy and we both made it a point to meet and collaborate.  This was a definite event!!!  I set aside the first of my 8 weeks in the Middle East just for Roy.

After a short discussion of where to shoot, we decided to shoot in his space.  Freakin’ nerves started to kick in and I brought them with me the day of the shoot.  I arrived on the designated morning and immediately sensed Roy was a tad tentative.  He was shooting for the first time.  I was also a tad tentative as I was shooting in his space.  I am used to being in my own space whether my own studio or a place I rent.  Rentals I consider my space as it is under my control, my space.  Model and Photographer are both a tad tentative.  Hmmmm…..   What do I do?  Be myself, embrace my Scottish heritage, be blunt, sarcastic, and let the jokes fly.  Dork jokes of course.  We both will ease up once we started shooting, it is natural.  I will be in my realm with my camera and my jokes will ease his vulnerability.  I always like to let the model glimpse at what they are giving me and once Roy realized what I was seeing, he started to ease up.  Perfect!!  Well not sooooooooo much….

We were shooting on his rooftop.  It was a very warm bright spring morning.  Gorgeous day!!!  Alas, time passes as it does not wait for anyone (Chaucer is so right) and the Sun was getting higher.  I am not completely happy.  His mesmerizing blue eyes were starting to have a hard time with the Sun and I knew we had not hit the peak of epic shots.  Inside and downstairs to his flat we had to go.  Along the way I was thinking how I was not completely happy with my eye and that I had to change the energy.  He was doing well, but just not hitting what I felt he could.  The shoot did not have the ‘epic’ feel I knew he could give.  As we walked down stairs, I noticed a room with a door open.  I am a nosy cuss and I peeked in for a quick inspection.  “This is my bedroom Drew.”  In I go for inspiration.  Let me see what this man is all about?  My eyes were glued immediately to a poster above his bed.  Ideas started flowing, I was grinning, I started glowing, Roy started glowing, and energy started snapping.  Did it ever snap!

Roy was a treasure to photograph and he has inspired a number of pieces I have penned and he has influenced quite a few pieces of art.  Roy is an inspiration to the philosophy of “I AM”.  Hence this piece in my “I AM” series.  A third trip to Israel is being planned.  Energy.

You can see a sample of Roy’s photographs in the portfolio page of this site by clicking here:  Roy Paz Photos

Cheers,  Drew Frederic