It is very easy to have fond memories of Timothy when I look over the photos from our collaboration a decade ago. He was quite the charmer!! He was a fantastic conversationalist, loved to explore new ideas, loved knowledge, had an infectious laugh, and he was one of the biggest geeks I ever met. Our first shoot took place in Denver in 2015 and we stayed in touch sporadically over the next 8 years. In early Spring of 2023, we talked about me coming down to Florida for a shoot. We started talking about a Fall shoot but that summer things started to change for Timothy and he told me he was not in a good place for a shoot. He was postponing the shoot until the following year. He had quit his job abruptly and he was moving clear across the state. Said he needed a ‘fresh start’. The week he arrived in his new city, he was in a car accident and caught a virus. A few weeks later his friend kicked him out of the apartment where he was couch surfing. The last time we spoke was towards the end of August and he told me he was a wee bit depressed. He assured me he would bounce back, they all do. He ended the call with his jolly ol’ self, they all do. He kept the depth of his depression hidden, they all do. He had a plan. We all have hind sight and this is what is coming from me now in my writing. Timothy passed away in his home in November of that year. He was 36 years old. I immediately searched out on where to place the blame. It did not take me long to remember blame does not change a thing and just causes more angst. I decided to drift away from the blame game and take my memories and reflect on the grand moments I had with Timothy. This reflecting did quite a bit of healing for me. Now, every time I see a photo, I smile and give a chuckle. He always made me laugh.
It was February of 2015 and I was on a social media app doing a morning death scroll when Timothy popped up in my feed. I was already on my 8th shot of espresso. Way above and beyond being alert and focused. I clicked on the post and thought “who the fuck is this guy?” Since his wall was open, I jumped right on in to do some creeping. “Hmmmmm nice pics, great body, killer blue eyes, nice tatts, and piercings. Oh well, he’s just eye candy, that’s a bummer.” As I was about to leave, I catch a glimpse of a smile on a post. I’m hooked. Just the dorkiest of smiles and oh, there’s another one, ohhhh, he’s soooooo wicked!!” I liked some pics and click the button to follow. ‘Eye candy’ he is not!!
I get a response in a few days with a mutual follow and a ‘dm’ stating “Thanks for the follow but do I know you?” I detest that statement “do I know you” ughhhh!! Therefore, I decided to get wicked cheeky with him. I replied with, “What the fuck Mr. Blueeyedboy, you forgot me already? It’s only been two nights.” I said some other things that I care not to repeat, I have an image to uphold you know 😉 That reply was either going to get me blocked or if my hunch was correct, it was going to lead to more conversation. My hunch, Timothy was a Scorpio and he couldn’t resist. I was right. He sent me a “LMFAO” and this lead to a very eventful relationship, of sorts.
We chatted for a wee bit on the social media app and eventually switched over to texting on our mobiles. Our conversations were all over the place and all seemed to always have depth. We must have spoken every day. An unintentional friendship was forming. My only goal in sending him a follow was to ask if he wanted to collaborate in a photo shoot. Which I did the day we started talking. He agreed immediately but then he kept sending me ‘dms’. I could tell he just wanted to chat and he’s a damn good conversationalist. I am a Gemini, I love to talk. I jumped in and the friendship was born.
Timothy flew out to Denver a couple months later, April I believe. We spent four nights and three days together. Shooting from sunrise to sunset. We were exhausted after each session. We took breaks for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and we had some incredibly deep conversations about religion, spirituality, ghosts, aliens, politics, being good stewards, and ‘South Park.’ During the shoot, there were many times we just stopped, sat down, and did not speak a word. Just sat, looked around, and took in the breathtaking views. We were shooting in the “Garden of the Gods’ in Manitou Springs, CO. My absolute favorite place to go for a walk with my pups and to shoot with models. Pretty majestic!! Views are amazing and varied. The energy is so intense. It just hits my core with every visit. Timothy had some very deep spiritual moments here and it affected him immensely, in those moments. It was definitely a ‘one of kind shoot’, never to be duplicated. One that pushed my talents, made me see more than I thought I could, opened the windows to my imagination, and humbled me. All my shoots are amazing as all are different, but his one definitely stands out.
I didn’t have to write about my weekend with Timothy. Could have just said a few words, posted a gallery of photos, and said RIP. I felt this would have been disrespectful. I love to develop a bond with the model I collaborate with and therefore every shoot has a story and thus becomes part of my life story. Timothy deserves this respect.
I know there are other sides to Timothy. Sides that I know that are truthful (came directly from him) and others that I suspect were truths based on gut feelings. But exposing them is completely unnecessary. To me, it comes across as gossip. People complain that social media only shows the good side of people. Myself, I don’t freakin’ care. For ‘fudge sticks’ sake, I don’t even know all the sides to my mom, dad, and sisters. It would not change anything if I did. Knowing everything might just ruin the taste of my Cranachan. Can’t have that! No freakin’ way!! I like the memories and tastes I have. Plus, I am writing this story just after taking a shower and I don’t need to get dirty all over again!
Timothy was an enigmatic soul and has impacted my life story in such a good way. Take a look at some of the photos from our shoot and enjoy the story you create as you look over this amazing man.
Timothy’s Gallery of Photos (Note: some photos are NSFW and all are for 18+ viewers)
Cheers, Drew Frederic
That’s a beautiful touching memory Drew 🙏