My Veil


My Veil

Innocence, born with
Freely given by creation
As I aged,
Innocence shattered
Words burnt upon my skin
Endless pain begins
A veil I create, to protect
No visible tears you will see
Hammering and hammering he does
My veil softens each blow
Scars form
Pain is cold
My inner self has no function
My veil hides all
You see me through a window
I choose
You will only see what I gift your eyes
Protection destroys
I am internally alone
My veil

Model: Guillermo Carson
Location: Manchester, England

I photographed Guillermo a couple of years ago during my month tour of the UK. We had spoken frequently in cyber space about shooting and how it would look.  After some deliberation on location and the studio, we settled upon shooting in Manchester, England.  It felt like we had been talking about this shoot for years, only had been a few months. Anticipation plays tricks with time. Guillermo started out a tad nervous, most do. I do not know at what point it clicked for us, but our energy finally synced. And when it did, we both flowed with ease as my lens captured this beautiful man. A very raw, peaceful, elegant, serene, beautiful, and sensual experience.

The experience was so intense it brought me back in time as Guillermo popped into my random brain the other day.  Thus, I decided to take a look at his photographs again.  As I was looking through them, I paused at this one.  I was transfixed.  My recent thoughts of how people deal with internal pain started to mix with my evolving thoughts of the photograph.  Words started flowing and I started writing.

The poem may seem a tad dark and my words have no reflection on Guillermo. For sometime now, I have been thinking about the different ways people hide their pain. This photograph was my inspiration to write words to help those who have been abused or are experiencing some internal pain.  I believe people create these invisible veils to hide their pain. I am no psychologist, but I feel when we hide our pain we do more damage to ourselves. The veil becomes our safety net and our own undoing. True love of our self becomes locked away. Thus, we can never truly give love to another or others.  Self love has to come first.

My photo shoots are more than me snapping my lens and a model posing.  I have always felt a successful or unsuccessful photo shoot is more than how good or how awful the photographs are.  To me, a photo shoot is all about the experience.  When energy syncs between model and photographer, the results are a soul enriching time and also incredible photographs.  I am still smiling years later.  Energy.

Cheers, Drew Frederic

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